By Chaya Sandler
Orit was just about to bite into a nice juicy peach when she suddenly shrieked! Joel came running to see what the problem was, and laughed when he realised his sister was scared of a humble little fruit fly. The tables turned however when three or four swarmed around him and he danced about wildly, warding them off.
A brief investigation revealed that whilst the Golds had been away, their home had been invaded. Little intruders had taken up squatters rights and as far as they were concerned, they were here to stay. A family meeting was conferred.
“I hereby call this family meeting to order!” thundered Mr Gold.
“It means the meeting is starting ,Orit.”
“Oh. Well then why didn’t you just say so?”
“Because this sounded better. Anyway, we have a problem. “ He leaned forward, “A very serious problem. A problem we must solve immediately. We have been invaded!” Blank looks greeted this last proclamation.
“Do you mean the fruit flies, Dad?”
Mr Gold sighed, “Yes Joel, I was referring to the fruit flies.”
“Well you could have just said so.”
“Yes I could have Joel but……oh, this family has no theatrical appreciation.” He spread his arms open wide. “Oh, G-d where did I go wrong?”
“Dad? Are you all right?…..Dad, why are you banging your head on the table?”
“Fine. Never mind. Joel, Orit, we need to find the source of this infestation and destroy it, so ramp up your scanners, ready the dogs and grab your atomising guns!”
“We don’t have atomising guns!”
“Hey, are we getting a dog!?”
Mr Gold shook his head sadly. Mrs Gold came to the rescue, “Relax kids, your father is just trying to make a joke. There, there, dear, maybe little Dena will appreciate your humour one day.”
“So all my hopes and dreams rest on the shoulders of a young babe, a heavy destiny lies upon you child.”
“Is Dad alright?”
“Orit, he’s fine, now let’s find those flies!”
Thus began the great fly hunt. The fruit bowl was emptied, vegetables, milk and eggs were strewn across the kitchen sides as the fridge was scoured, Joel even finished off the last piece of cake but he declared the tin to be fly free. Orit dove into their large chest freezer, despite her mother’s insistence that no fruit flies would live in a freezer! When she emerged with an ice lolly, her mother gave her a sharp look, “So you found what you were looking for then?”
Orit’s face turned the picture of angelic innocence, “No Ma, there were no flies in the freezer.”
“She is simply enjoying her spoils of war!” Mr Gold joked and at Orit’s blank look he sighed in exasperation, “I tried to bring my children up, I really did. They get their sense of humour from you my dear.”
“What sense of humour?”
“Exactly.” That earned Mr Gold a withering look that sent him scurrying into the lounge to resume his quest. The family took a break for supper whereupon a host of flies descended on the plates.
“This is ridiculous!” Mrs Gold shrieked. “There are flies everywhere, on the ceiling, on the walls, hovering about everywhere, I will not share my home with such creatures!”
Mr Gold pointed his fork menacingly at a fly, “Tell me your secrets, you can’t hide from me, where is it?!”
“Dad are you talking to a fly? Dad, why are you smacking your head?”
“No one understands me!”
“No one! I shall fall to my grave in despair.”
“No you won’t dear”
“Well I shall fall on the couch instead.” With that, Mr Gold dramatically collapsed on the couch and hosts of flies bellowed up around him, enveloping him in a dark cloud. Stumbling off the couch and taking the cushions with him, the family stared at a black mush that had once been a banana, underneath the cushions.
Mr Gold jumped up and yelled triumphantly, “Victory is mine!” and with that he picked up baby Dena and twirled her around the room, “You see sweetheart, it pays to be dramat-agghhh!” Mr Gold stared dismayed at the white goo his daughter had deposited on him that was now making its way down his shirt. “Traitor, how could you?”
“Well dear,” grinned Mrs Gold, “It seems she does take after you in the end, she certainly knows how to pick her moments and steal the show!”